…my wife isn’t the same person that I married. When I met her she was a 22-year-old college student. Now she’s a 27-year-old mother of two. Sure she still has the same DNA, the same biological identity, and she’s still the kind of girl who can appreciate a good beer and a fart joke. But she’s not the same. That’s because I married a human being, not a mannequin. I said my vows to a person, not a computer program.
“People sometimes change,” says the wise sage.
No, people always change. They never stop changing. Life is change.
…Divorcing someone because they change? You might as well divorce them because they breathe.
I’m not making light of it. I know that sometimes people change in a painful and inconvenient manner. I know that my wife could change in ways that don’t cooperate with my projections of how she should be and feel and think.
I guess that’s what people really mean when they say they want a divorce because their spouse “changed.” It’s not change itself they oppose, but changes that challenge them and make them uncomfortable. What they should say is: “I want a divorce because she changed in a way that doesn’t fit inside my comfort zone.”
It’s hard, I know. Every day I’m relearning this one basic truth: my wife has her own brain, her own feelings, her own soul. We are linked now through the bond of matrimony, but she is still her and I am still me. She is a force, a hurricane, a wildfire. She is not a puppet dancing on a string. She is a self — her own self — powerful and mysterious.
…So we wake up every morning, sort of the same, but sort of new. We look at each other, we introduce ourselves again, and we choose to love who we see.
We choose to love. And that’s the only thing that will never change.
St. Cecil Cathedral
Sure! I’ll be here a lot! Jackie is one of my best friends. See you around!
Expectant Mary from San Francisco de Asís Catholic Church in San Juan, Puerto Rico (from Ignatius Press on Facebook)
There is so much I want to complain about but I’m trying to be a better person through it. I’ve deleted rant posts so many times in these past two hours for this reason. I’ve offered it up for the soul in purgatory who is farthest from heavens gates.
living in a hypersexualized world is actually very spiritually exhausting and alienating
Blood has been spilt. Generations have passed away. When will I make it to the promised land
- The Thing